Anger issues can be a good thing when channeled positively and destructive when feelings of annoyance displeasure or hostility is projected. Managing this anger through coping strategies readily comes to mind.
Anger is a shift stemming from feelings of sadness, frustration, loss, dissapointment, low self esteem, low body image, poor perception, health struggles etc.
There are times we all felt angry but to some persons it is recurring and becomes almost a lifestyle which may impact the person, family, friends and loved ones in unimaginably negative ways and even the mental health if not quickly and properly managed.
Getting angry makes you human but how you chose to react in the face of anger determines if you remain human or may be seen as a beast by the other victims of your anger expressions.
Triggers for your Anger issues
Are you experiencing anger issues along with loss of interest in activities you love, appetite changes, change in sleep patterns, unpredictable moods? Your anger could be caused by depression.
There are a host of personality disorders e.g, obsessive compulsive disorder etc, that could trigger Ange.
Excessive use of alcohol can ruin things and put people oh of control including fits of uncontrollable anger
A person’s temperament
People who are too quiet or too expressive are prone to anger
Extreme mood changes like in bipolar disorders
people with this disorder move from being extremely Happy to be in extremely irritable the next minute and vise versa
Grief, Loss, series of bad occurrences
Life can throw people off balance with its ugly and until events if they are not careful. It can change a persons mood and personality quickly too
Stress not only affects the body but the brain and emotions too if not managed.
A bad phase in life leading to frustration
This cannot be overemphasized.
Other mental health disorders etc
You could chose to react in different ways when anger
1. You could chose to be Passive about your anger
This set of people may love to keep the peace, may be scared of confrontation or just love to avoid it at all cost. Some of this type of people can suffer the pain in silence and even hurt themselves even to depression in the process with self questioning even when the object of their anger isn’t aware they have hurt this person.
Another category of this type of people can be passive aggressive( Silent)
As a punitive measure. They can be vengeful in quiet ways but they sting more deadly and take up their anger like a task to be completed or even a competition. This category of people don’t go easily with the grudges and can be quite dangerous.
Such ways of expressing anger is not the right way as it can escalate issues, pile up more garbages in the mind of the person, affect his or her mental health, prevent the person from moving on even when the other person has moved on thus leaving a burden in the mind of the person.
Solution/ anger management strategy;
Learn to be passive only in the heat of the moment and speak up to the person who offended you or an understanding friend who sees clearly and will be supportive. This helps to clear your head and mind quickly, allowing you to move on to better things.
Learn to move on after speaking up whethert the person apologizes or not. It msjes you happier. Anger shortens your lifespan because it gets your hormones raving mad.
2. You can chose to be openly aggresive about your anger.
Oh, did i just say this? No , its only for the list. In fact, many people seeking for anger management classes are basically in this category. I do not advice persons to exhibit anger. This type of people can smash things, get out of control, be verbally abusive, emotionally abusive and even get physically abusive with people and properties close at the moment. It is a very quick way of reacting that leaves the person filled with regrets, some remorse in most cases, leaves the person with lots of damages to his or herself, loved ones or properties. It feels like living with a beauty turn beast when you witness this category of people angry.
Its almost like the anger comes suddenly, readily and without restraints.
Solution/anger management strategy:
Know the root of your anger:
What makes A angry is not same as what makes B angry. Are you angry because you feel slighted, are you always angry as a way of involuntarily transferring aggression due to happenings out of control in your life? Like you get easily pissed, irritated and agitated? Are you always angry because you have lost passion for that thing ? There are many reasons or root of one’s anger. Identify yours.
Analyze the effect of your past reactions
Think about the last time you reacted in anger, how did it go? Was there any good done? Didn’t you end up hurting yourself more, didn’t you make a bad impression, didn’t you garner more enemies and lost friends, didn’t you hurt your friends, family and loved ones, didn’t you destroy properties, didn’t you feel out of control? Didn’t you feel embarrassed? Did you not pile up more reasons and made more excuses why you should and got angry?
Before you act, think about the past, take a deep breath and think twice.
Do not act before you think. In the heat of it, be in control and think be for you act.
Take the control and walk away. Take a break that moment when you know just how much you cannot hold back. Chose to maintain the relationship that break it. Walk away, never look back till you feel better. It is one realistic way to overcome Ange issues.
Learn not to bottle up or accumulate piles or things so you don’t explode.
When you keep delaying to iron out that issue with that thing or person but chose to wait for another time to be hurt, when you keep procastinating to solve that, when you keep ignoring to plan, when you keep taking blames and not working on them, when you keep encouraging the bad feeling and acting like they are non existent when you cannot lie to yourself how much it affects you, it will gradually build up and find a way to accumulate and poke through your daily life and there you will begin to explode over little things or nothing. Asides the negative effects of anger issues, you will be saving yourself from heart issues if you stop bottling things up.
Take a step back or walk away
3. You can chose to be assertive about your anger.
If you ask me, i’d say this is the best way to react when angry.
Calmly argue it out with the person, giving points and reasons why you feel slighted, try to be expressive but don’t watch it worsen to an emotionally screaming, nagging process. It is one best reaction for one with anger issues.
Solution/ anger management strategy for anger issues
Know when to draw the limit in argument before it worsens to some negative brawl or become an exchange of verbal fists. When you try to explain things to the other person and he or she wouldn’t understand, take a break from that place or person at the moment
When you come back, forgive the person
To err they say is human and to forgive is divine. Take it that you too hurt people. How would you feel if everybody react the way you do or hold you to their minds for grudges simply because you refused to acknowledge your faults or wouldn’t unintentionally stop getting them angry. Humans and things are all flawed. Forgive yourself, forgive that person, Pat the person on the shoulder or hand and say, i forgive you or just stand afar, smile and shake your head. When you do that, it will give the other person a surprised reaction, make you feel good and strong as opposed to being weak. Forgiveness must be a deliberately decision and brings instant peace of mind for people with anger issues.
4. You may chose to assertively project your anger.
These kind of people almost never take the blame. They usually feel entitled. They may feel like the other person deserves the worst punishment, deserves to suffer or even deserves death because all the blame is on them. They feel like they are always on the right. They project anger, to criticize, tear down the object of their anger and aim to make it feel worthless while to them they have no responsibility to take in what caused the anger.
Solution/anger management strategy; You are in no competition with anyone, you are not wrestling for the strongest. Take the blames and get the benefit of becoming the better person
General solution/ anger management strategy for Ange issues
To deal with anger issues, you must be able to tackle it from its root causes
Know the signs of your anger
De clog the fog through practicing concentration, yoga, breathing in or taking a walk. These relaxation strategies can go a long way to helping you manage anger.
Give yourself a rest
Sleep off and let the brain rest, reflect on it temporarily, and wake up feeling refreshed. Sleep has a way of reviving persons including me. I wake up feeling better, thinking better and happier.
Sob when necessary and reflect in the process
Contrary to what people believe. Sobbing shows strength to accept what is and not weakness. Sobbing helps to release bottled feelings, helps to make you feel relieved from your stiff self, gets you sober and willing to become better. Don’t sob for self pity and sympathy, don’t sob to find excuses to get back at the person and thing
Confide in family and friends who make you feel better
Some family members and friends may have been there before, they may have found a way to get over it and can share with you. They may know the trying times in your life and offer. way to help you out, they may share their own stories and struggles which may be worse and get you to see the reality that anger solves nothing, that your problems may be nothing compared to theirs. They would be excited to help you overcome your anger issues
Do things that makes you feel satisdfied, fulfiled and elevated.
You may be getting angry due to triggers that have accumulated. Frustrations, things not going your way, low self esteem, poor body image etc.
Compensate for it by doing the things that make you feel good. Wear clothes that makes you feel confident, go places you are accepted, eat what you love.
Learn to move on from the past
Stop accumulating list of peoples sins, stop piling up your failures and stop accumulating what doesn’t give you joy. You will end up unhappy, frustrated and not see the good part of life. You will end up worsening your mental health. Learn to let it go. Learn to look past what you couldn’t do to a fresh start of what you can do. Speak up calmly and always move from it. It is one way to move past Ange issues
Get help/ Therapy
Some times when you try to no avail, you may be needing the help of an exoerienced persons or an expert.
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